Bullying in school - never be victim again
Your child withdraws more and more, looks sad, has nightmares, complains about headaches or stomach pains. These can all be signs of bullying, especially if they are repeated and concentrated. Mobbing is when children are teased, insulted, exposed or even physically harassed by others over a long period of time. Permanent exclusion and the deliberate withholding of information is also often very stressful for those affected and can have serious psychological consequences. Mobbing usually proceeds from one to several perpetrators and passive Mitläufer. Short-term conflicts, arguments and aggressive behavior among children and young people however can unfortunately occur again and again, but have nothing to do with mobbing.
External assistance to consult!
Parents of Mobbingopfern suffer with their child. They often do not know how they can help him. Help is particularly difficult because those affected are often ashamed. It is usually not so easy to get to them. In a first step, the parents should seek the conversation with their child and be patient, even if it does not come out immediately with the language. Assure him that you are always there for him and have an open ear. This is certainly more helpful than mere advice such as "resist the pressure" or reproachful questions such as "Why do you let them do this to you? Parents should also visit the class teacher and, if necessary, the head teacher and work out measures together. Parents' representatives, the School Psychological Service, but also independent counselling centres are also helpful contacts. In some areas there are even trained anti-bullying trainers who can help to defuse conflicts. Some of these are also used preventively and provide pupils with clear information about the consequences of bullying.
With certain pupils, who became perpetrators for known reasons, perhaps directly the discussion can be looked for. In some cases it helps to show them the situation and to get them to put themselves in the position of the victim. Whether the latter is really meaningful and promising in the concrete situation can best be assessed by teachers and psychologists. Talk openly with your child about your project. Because fear of even more violence and harassment through the expansion of confidants is quite real and understandable. Records of the acts with information about the perpetrators, exact time, place and events help to reproduce the events in front of third parties.
Help your child to become more self-confident. Usually, the self-confidence and self-esteem of those affected suffer considerably from the humiliations. Your child could, for example, attend self-assertion training, which gives him or her mental strength. In addition, the more quick-witted children are with insults, the more they take away the fun from the perpetrators of the harassment. Quick-wittedness can be practiced. Take on insults together and think of appropriate answers. In "You are as fat as a barrel" the answer "You had a four in maths and don't even know what a barrel weighs" makes the perpetrator look pretty stupid. Also train standard phrases that often fit like "Did someone just say something?", "How do you come up with it?" or "I just adapt to my classmates". By the way, quick-wittedness also helps children who are not victims of bullying. Such training is definitely a good way to give your child more strength. By the way, bullying is not a new phenomenon, but has often reached particularly serious dimensions in recent years due to social networks. However, so-called cyberbullying is a field in its own right, for which there are already numerous books and films.
Tips for handling Bullying.
1. practice self-confidence
With self-assertion training, children can find their way back to mental strength. Usually the self-esteem of those affected suffers enormously from the humiliations.
2. train quick-wittedness
The more quick-witted the children are with insults, the more they deprive the perpetrators of the fun of harassing them. The ability to strike a punch can be practiced.
3. external help
Visit the class teacher and work out joint measures. The School Psychology Service or other independent bodies are also helpful contacts.
As a first step, parents should seek a conversation with their child and be patient, even if it does not immediately come out with the language.
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